It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. I’ve been pretty busy with life. And if I’m being completely honest I’ve been struggling in my faith. But the great thing about my struggles is that in the midst of them God shows me things about myself and never fails to help me rise up again.
2016 was a year I spent mostly alone. I really didn’t have anyone in my life except my family and God. I remember trying to seek God and trying to push through the sadness of feeling so alone. I’d try and read my bible and journal along with it. I’d try and be happy even though I felt so alone.
Towards the end of 2016, someone came into my life. I learned the hard way that the enemy knows us just as well as God knows us. And when we are weak and lonely, the enemy will not hesitate to send people into our lives that we may think/convince ourselves are from God. So pretty soon we find ourselves lost in who we thought we’d never become. We find ourselves so immersed in the thought of having someone that we settle for so much less then we deserve. Yet even in the midst of losing who we are we never lose who we are in Christ and we never lose Him.
The past few months have been a battle over what I deserve and what I want. I’ve learned though that what I want usually isn’t what God wants for me if it causes me to have questions or doubts and especially if it requires me to change who I am.
I’ve learned that I am enough just as I am. I’ve learned that I will never fall in love with the right person if I don’t let myself fall in love with my creator first.
I feel like the dreams I have will never come to pass if I keep halfassing my faith (excuse my French, but seriously). God wants to bless me but He can never do that if I keep settling for less and living for this world. I have to desire Him and trust Him in every area. Here’s hoping I can do just that.
I hope my words encouraged you today and reminding you that He is relentlessly pursuing you so open your heart today and let Him love you.